If it was possible at this moment for us to be granted the perfect man of our dreams, what are some of the idea traits and qualities we would want him to possess?

My idea man?

Someone who listens. Truly listens!!!!

Patient. Truly patient!!


Because at this juncture in my life, I still have not resolved all of the issues that are currently inhibiting my spiritual and psychological growth.

Anger and self-doubt are some of the issues that I still struggle with.

Crippling insecurities were constant companions in my early years.

I spent an awkward adolescence overly concerned about fitting in with peers whom I have recently discovered were battling the same issues but were more adept at disguising them!

Fast forward to young womanhood.

As a young woman of the 1990’s I was caught in the vortex of the whole hip hop scene where women were sublimely told that their self-worth was measured in terms of their physical proportions.

What was supposed to be a journey of self-discovery was instead a decade of turmoil!

Then came 30.

My thirties coincided with the new millennium.


In my 20’s the sirens of hip hop were held as standards to emulate.

In my 30’s however, the professional Black woman was being touted.

I remember Condoleezza Rice more than anyone else besides Oprah personifying the ultimate Black professional woman.

While I admired her-and still do- her life and example to me seemed out of whack somehow.

Single by choice, and 100% devoted to her career, she cut an intimidating figure!!!

By comparison, I was definitely one woman short…..

Thus came my long delayed decision to pursue a higher education.

And at last came 40!!!

As a teenager I remember watching Oprah explain that by 40, women pretty much have the storms of life weathered and are now ready to proceed with a life filled with mental security.

While I wanted to enjoy my youth, I sincerely believed that somehow, I would have everything figured out at 40.

No such luck!!!

As for the men in my life along this journey?





Believe me readers, at this point in my life, I take 100% of the blame.

You know that saying about hindsight?

I want bore you with a litany of he done me wrongs, bla bla bla!!!

Let’s keep it moving.

Now When it comes to men, I am definitely not taking any shorts!!!!

Even though I haven’t quite made it to that serendipitous all-knowing space, I definitely do know what I require in a man/mate, etc.

As I previously stated, above all other requirements, patience and understanding is what I value most.

Heck, it is what I need-like water and food-as a sustaining force!!!

Sorry readers for the prattle.

Unlike me ladies-a work still in progress-I hope that you have reached that stage of life where all of the self-doubt of youth have dissipated -or at least you have a firm handle on it!!

Just my thoughts>>>

Until next time….